Saturday, January 2, 2010

Rise and Shine 2010

Happy New Year you Beautiful Brilliant people !

from Tara Singh

I have to learn one other thing--something called reverence.
Without reverence we will not come to silence. This is very important.  Reverence is neither Oriental nor Occidental, Christian or non-Christian.  It doesn't fit into anything. Reverence is a quality. It is like a gentleness.
You know when you love someone how gentle you are?
Have you ever noticed that? 
When you love someone you are gentle and you are kind.  That gentleness brings about an atmosphere where each person then opens up to give.You are thoughtful and your touch speaks.  The caring civilizes you.  You create an atmosphere where something much deeper can be shared. Its something very beautiful. And different.
That is reverence for life, respect for one another, love for your own self.  Because reverence is where you want to give. Without reverence you want to take.

I think children own this reverence.
So we've only tucked it away and can reach it--

Open hearted to the awe and wonder.
I want to be that, again, in 2010.

old postcard ~ sailing the Charles River Boston
Will be in Boston and surroundings with family and friends for most of January.
The river water flows there too; and the ocean.
We lost my little brother over the Holiday.
(Wasn't sure i would post this ...  was thinking, if i come back and read my blog when i am old, will i wish i had honored this... here?)
As children he and I were like twins, exploring and imagining everything.
All the thoughts theories even spiritual experiences in my Life that "know" and "understand" ... they barely reach where this heart in the body carries me now.  I think Grief is a beast... like wrestling a power till weak and inarticulate. It wins... and I am humbled by this love that no longer fits in its clothes-- love that has broken the seams of the word love, the word brother.
Its a great blessing
to be awake and healthy on this beautiful planet; loved. Nourished.
And to believe in Spirit, to know i will be brought forward ... this will be my journey this year, transformation towards more "understanding." 
Peace to all who enter here.
You have all made me feel the world is small and full of a realized Peace on Earth! Because of what you share and how you comment here; because of who you Are. I couldn't ask for a better gift. Thank you.
I may not be round and about for a bit but i Wish Joy to you in 2010 ...& love & long long hugs when you are sad.

Desert song (flute Native American)

Exoblessings. Blessings (and new word verication~ "Be win" for 2010.)


Line said...

Peace to you... this post is so spiritual, you talk about Reverence and and I listen and learn. Than you talk about your brother, is no longer with you... I guess that we need to keep faith no matter what...

happy new year you are an angel x x

Jo Horswill said...

Dearest Mansuetude,
I'm wordless, but will pull it together to say, my thoughts are with you dear one, and your family...I simply can't imagine.
Stay well, look after yourself.
Sending you a big hug from here.

Manuela said...

Dear Mansuetude, my heart opens to you and your grief for your brother - the gentleness of your words, your photos, your thoughts and feelings. When my mother died some years ago I was so full of anger at everything at everyone - anger that closes, boxes in, isolates - and I am so truly humbled by your reverence... thank you for being! I pray this will be a year of openness, for us all.

rambleswithreese said...

That is beautifully written and so incredibly sad. It touched my heart.

Thank you for sharing this story. My prayers are with you.


La Dolce Vita said...

first of all, you had me in tears of beauty with the tara singh piece, which I will steal, because it is what I hold true in my heart as well and I think most cannot describe the feeling of Reverence.

second, my brother died last May, he shot himself, so I don't know how you feel and how you wrestle with the "beast" but I can certainly relate. I send you peace and love and an open invitation to talk.

I lived in Boston for 4 years, so I hope you get to the north end and eat some good food for me, play at F. Hall and Quincy market and stroll around town, what a great walking town.
peace to you... cat

ArtPropelled said...

Dear Mansuetude, I've been sitting a while ( more than a while)just looking at the screen, feeling but not quite able to articulate. Know that you are in my thoughts. Sending love, strength and comfort.

kvk said...

"openhearted to the awe and wonder" - an all encompassing resolution. Losing someone so young, so close ... the idea takes my breath away. The horrendous pain and bruising element of 'awe and wonder'.
Sending prayers of healing love and support.
xo blessings

mansuetude said...

Thank You Everyone.

Happy New Year Line. Peace to you.

Jo, Hugs are so so important. I need them so i take it! Happy New Year, new life to you.

Manuela~ I wondered if i should say anything yet, cause i am no ready, but your comment gave me so much, i am glad i did. You set me thinking about violence and grief; unresolved grief...

Yes, i have felt and understood that anger. You describe it so perfectly. At times i have thought i could kill somone; but who, and where, and how could i get my hands around its throat, this anger? I think it is terror that skims the surface of deep grief. I learned of it way back in my twenties, so i know to detect it...

Thank you for sharing this. Peace to you and the world in our pain.

Thank you Rambles... peace to you.

Cat ~ sorry to hear of your brother. We hear lots of such stories these years... Boston is a great place but i am so tired, i'd love to stay here in my pajamas for a long time. But i have to go...

Robyn ~ I am sorry; i think i felt that. Staring is good; I think my brother would love you to go play with the dog, make something yummy in the kitchen and indulge in your favorite things, then play with the monkeys till you are happy and make someone so happy. He would do that... he did that all the time...


KVK ~ Yes, thanks. It is gut wrenching and then you think for some hours, it feels better, then no breath, no energy, no way or where to go... all the books you read won't take it out of play.

You should invent a necklace with a box of tissues in it...

Blessings and Happy New Year.

Disa said...

you are back, and you are gone. and you left a big dent in that moment.

and now a journey that has to be taken. safe travels on that journey, it's not an easy one.

mansuetude said...

Hi Disa

ya, huge pot hole frost heave rising up on the journey.

i thought earlier someone should invent a gortex tear wicking boogie dripping wicking shirt for these times-- it seemed like something you would say.

Merry Christmas and New Years.

And isn't that just a beautiful sunrise? Nobody mentioned the lovely color of it... Celebrate the beauty.

(I insist)

layers said...

so sorry to hear of your loss and my thoughts are with you-- your top image is especially beautiful-- and your words about reverence and gentleness matching that elegant image so well.

lynne h said...

oh m., the tara singh video... yes...

and i have this big sadness inside me, the loss of your brother. and i feel there are no words. but my heart (and my breath) is here...

safe travels my friend... (and yes on the reverence. thank you for reminding me.)

jeane said...

it seems we all end up with gaping holes where we have lost ones we love - and you are right - grief is a beast and it does win, but only in the short term - blessings to you and your family - I'm so sorry - xxo

mansuetude said...

Thank you Donna~ yes, that particular sunrise felt so gentle. The color of devotion, love, i feel. Peace and Happy New Year your way.

Lynne I had found that Tara Singh book and was reading it instead of The Red Book earlier... i have had it since 19 and this read is ever more.

The heart, thank you, that feeling is just love elbowing for more deeper space in us all; nobody escapes this thing. Breath (i Got that message)!

Be win, exoblessings.

Jeane ah, yes but the hole wants to move us closer to the power of the inner thing... and the Beast, i never called it that before, but i think it wins to bring us to our profound sadness, then we win! What a way to learn about "love" !!!

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.
A bright sunshining day!

Gwen Buchanan said...

... realities of loss and death... and life... a smothering black cloak... how it mines our minds...

your words and sensibilities are Poetry... sheer beauty... observing the light...

You are such a true natural Poet... always...

your photo... the pelicans waiting... all in a haphazard row... casually assembled... the nature of it...
a gathering... life going on...

my love to you...

Mary-Laure said...

Best of year to you too. While Benjy dreams of playing ball, I wish you peace and beauty in 2010 - and more blogging!

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

Each word and each photo speak Reverence. I have been touched by your sharing today... Peace and comfort be with you in these next days and hours...moments.
Mary Ann

andrea tachezy said...

Happy new year to you mansuetude - peace, love and everything you wish!

mansuetude said...

Gwen~ the pelicans appeared, New Years day on that spot. I meant to write under the image, i thought they helped carry the New Year in! They suddenly had soft creamy yellow feathered heads... not brown but white and yellow. Figured they were from another part of world; but i guess they are in mating feather dress. Which seems strange since its so cold out... then i learned they warm their eggs with their feet, not by sitting on the eggs. I posted the wrong photo--some photos are better and their feet are so lovely.

But they Can be seen in many ways can't they; an image is so open. There is allusion to vultures there too; protection; also the stance of some Tai Chi moves before the sunrise; other things. The mind looks for poetry in the beauty... in the brilliance that makes existence; makes a "we" of the light and the dark.

Love to you... and Old Fundy.

Mary Laure and Benjy too, Thank you for your well wishes. A great New Year to you both ... and the LA Lakers (did i say that? Shame on me... :) I'll be thrown out of beantown.

Mary Ann I hope you enjoy a wonderful New Year... every minute of it, and Peace fill you up. Thank you.


Andrea, so nice of you to come on over... and Thank you. Blessings to you and yours, and a big Naz dravi toast to the New Year!

Thanks everyone.
A bright Bright sunshiny day ...
(now i have that song stuck in my head)

mansuetude said...

opened book to this today...

Adolphe Shedrow

I dreamed of a nest where the trees repulsed death.

I dreamed of a nest where the ages no longer slept.

Seth said...

So sorry for your lose. My thoughts are with you and your family. Your post, as always, was so thought-full and lyrical. I wish you nothing but the very best in the new year.

kate said...

mansuetude...find peace and solace within your own beautiful words, the comforting words of others, and the nature that you love. I am so sorry for your loss.

Uschi said...

is it a beast...grief? Isn't it just a wild animal that opens you with a crack...
"openhearted to the awe and wonder"and all the wild animals you meet and which make life a dance.
My reverence to these wild animals and lots of love to you!

Kathleen Botsford said...

I was so happy to see you back only to read your sad news. I immediately thought of my own (5) younger brothers. I know the day is out there.....I pray for you.

Christine said...

Dearest Mansuetude,
I am so deeply sorry to hear this news. I send you strenght and love, and light and power.
So close to loosing, It gets slippery sometimes, between honoring the coherence, and missing painfully. Please know that you are surrounded by love that will help you regain footing.

I recognized Grief in your description. In time, he will loosen his grip, and embrace rather than wrestle.


Anonymous said...

be win is as serendiopitous as exoblessings,

so lie fallow and reflective in a pool of yourself ... it will still be a small world when you return

rivergardenstudio said...

Reverence, so beautiful a word, your reverence shines bright. I am so glad to see you're posting again, I have missed you.
How can I say how sorry I am about your brother? I don't have the words, only that he will be with you always.
Love yourself because he is there. I am sending you love, peace and more reverence. I am so sad for you. roxanne

age care fabrics said...

These are perfect peaceful and solemn pictures for this New Year.

Search Engine Optimization said...

Beautifully well photographed images, I love it.

marie-louise said...

Dear Mansuetude!
Thanks for all lovely words from you, hope that you will have a really good start on 2010:)

Roxana said...

your pictures are always a reverence in front of Life and its wonders. they are themselves wonders.
i am so sorry for your loss. it's hard to say anything that matters in such occasions, i have always felt so helpless. i just want to hug you and thank you for everything you are...

~Babs said...

I am so sorry for your loss.
I have no brothers,,,,but 3 sisters. I cannot imagine the pain of losing one of them. Prayers for you and your family,,,I'm hoping you can find peace in your heart, wrapped up in your love for him.

Ritva said...

dear M,
i´m so sorry.

this morning it was -25, sun was shining and air was glittering, not snowing- glittering. sky was blue and the landscape all white. it was breathtakingly beautiful. you could almost hear tinytiny bells when little birds flew through it.


rivergardenstudio said...

just wanted to say hello and I love your desert song. I hope you are having some sun shine this January... sending love, roxanne

Christine said...

Hi M. I'm so glad you stopped by. I have been thinking so much about you these past weeks, thinking of all which must be going through you. What you must be going through. I'm beside you, all the way over here.
Your stove-forecast made me smile. Because you are right. Naturally you are :-) The smell is garlic, rosemary, nutmeg, roast potato. Do you smell it? I send it over. Along with empathy and strenght.

gracia said...

To loose your brother, your twin in many ways, no, I cannot imagine how this truly feels. You are right, grief is a beast to wrestle with. I am so sorry to read of your loss, and to you and your family I extend my deepest sympathy... and an armful of hugs.

g xo

Anil P said...

Well said. Reverence is respect in some ways, and a key to commitment.

Beautiful pictures.

Leslie said...

Ah reverence. I'll be thinking about that for a while. Thank you for that and for the link to Tara Singh's words.

I'm so sorry that you lost your younger brother over the holidays. Sorry that you are consumed by this huge emptiness. Wishing you peace and very long hugs.

T and S said...

The first image is gorgeous and the post awesome...Thomas

T and S said...

And my sincere condolences for your dear loss...Thomas

bookbabie said...

Another goodbye. I hope you had the time to be, to say the things you wanted to say before he left you. The beginnings and endings hold so much power over us and yet we live most of our hours and days in that space in between...reverence is a good word and a good way to live them.

Ritva said...

i miss you lady.

Marjojo said...

Words fail too when reacting to grief. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing it with us. The need for reverence in our lives - a wholehearted YES. Not that I have any doubt that you have reverence at your centre - your blog has spoken from right there for a long time.

janis said...

Long long hugs and love when you are sad back - because I felt it when I read those lines. I am hoping for transformation too, for the both of us...

Reverence for nature and love, I think this is my religion.

I am sorry for your lose - I wish there was a way I could say this differently ... xo, j.

business guides said...

By having a reverence for life, we enter into a spiritual relation with the world.
Those words are touching.